"Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams."

And every night she throws herself a pity party.
But she's the only one who ever shows up.

"I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on"

So, the moment things go wrong, we'll whip out all the things we've done for each other.
As though there's a price to be put on friendship.
I guess I just can't pay my debts.


Family is supposed to be there for you, right?
I guess I wouldn't really know.


It's okay that this is all my fault.
It usually is.
I just don't think I can handle it anymore.

I need to start shaping up apparently.

I thought life was getting better.
God is blessing my life so greatly.
So, please help me understand why I'm spiraling down into this hole I dug for myself a long time ago.

God, help me with this temptation please.

"Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, Jesus reign over me."

While I'm Waiting - John Waller

"While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting"

Dang flabbit.
Jesus, I need You.
I'm so ready to listen to You again.
I'm beyond ready to follow Your will, Your plan, Your way.
Mine never works out, and it leaves me heart broken, and alone.
I don't want that anymore.
But more than that, I want You. I want to be able to say I'm after Your heart God.
No one else's.
You possess my heart God. My mind, my soul.
It's all Yours.
And I'm so sorry.

There are some things you just don't say.
I wish you knew that.


Feeling a bit more pathetic than usual right now.

I'm not depressed.
But I'd sure like to talk to you.
I like people who are honest with me.
Completely and totally.
In order to have my trust, you have to be honest.
Explains why I don't talk to many people.
God? He definitely has my full trust.
The boy? With him it was instant. There was no question.
Stitches? He did. I don't know where it stands anymore.
And you? I do. But I'd never have the courage to call you.


Please, don't treat me like a little girl. I'm not the one messing up my life completely, and then trying to shove my truths on everyone else. I can handle myself. I always have.
Grow up.

I don't open up to people, because of people like you.

"If there is anything I can help with please don't hesitate... Been down that road before, and almost fell off the edge. I can relate."

Thank you, but I don't know if I can take you up on that offer.
The reason I don't talk to people, isn't because I'm afraid of what they'll think, or that I prefer to be alone. It's because I don't know how, and if I let people in too far, they'll leave.
It's been shown, many many times before.