Choices.

If I could go back through all of the fights, all of the walks to the park, and the day at the aquarium. Back before our first kiss, and our first hug, the first hello. Before I decided you were the funniest person I had ever met, and before you became the only person I’d willingly cry in front of. Back to before we could finish each others sentences and we could press each others buttons because we knew exactly where they were. Before the welling of love, and before the heartbreak and pain. Back when we were still learning and living, before we shared our hopes and dreams, our secrets and fears. Before you met my family, and before we fell in love, I can’t decide if I still would have told you the words that changed everything: “I like you too”

caught up in just this way I know that you can be more than this

I had forgotten how nice it is to just sit and pray for an extended period of time.
I missed it so incredibly. I don't even want to stop.
As I sit here writing this, I'm thinking about how I wish I was still spending time with God.
This is a weird feeling, that I am really enjoying.
It was so nice to just sit in my closet talking about everything that's happened in the past few months. About how hard headed I am. How it takes so many tries before God is able to reach me.
I talked about every sin recently. Every mess up, every mistake. I talked about how stupid I feel for chasing after something I thought would make me happy, that distracted me from God, and in the end really only caused pain.

Usually, I probably would have cried over him.
Today, I cried over my broken relationship with God.
It wasn't about anything but that.
It was all about how much I missed my God, and how I didn't understand why I've wasted so much time on so many things that will never be as fulfilling as God, especially when I know that to be true.

This is a fantastic feeling.

mm, Kate Nash. She's just fantastic.