The words well up in my stomach, only to be stopped by the catch in my throat.
They just stopped.
So a squeak came out, every time I tried to say what I felt.
I could've tried to scream, and all that would come out, is that tiny squeak.
It's like the sound of defeat.

If God was really number one, would this still hurt as much?
There's that promise that it will someday work out, so why do I almost start crying every five minutes?

I feel so incredibly pathetic right now.