it just... doesn't sound good anymore.

So basically, I'm kind of sick of you and all your lying and rumors.
I know what you really are.
And so does everyone else. I just don't know how to tell you.

you mean a lot to me. And I wasn't jealous today because I feel like I should be able to trust you.
Just tell me if I'm wrong. Oh, and thanks a ton for helping me with my science project.
(:

I love Monday's. The weekend is over, and I feel refreshed. And plus, I get to see everyone again. I just can't stand spending all this time at my house. It's basically an insane asylum here.

I realized today, how even though I love you very much. You vent at me, instead of to me. And I wanna be there for you. I just don't want you to take everything out on me. your mood swings confuse me, and make me think I'm doing something terribly wrong. hmm, but I do love walking home with you and the other kid(:

basically. you are wasting you're time. move on. she's not worth it. And she seems to make you more upset than she'll ever make you happy. I hate seeing you like this. And I don't appreciate how you act when we hang out anymore. I can't deal with it. You're sending wayyyy too many mixed signals, and it's screwing with my emotions.

um, my mom got a myspace. What is this world coming to?!

p.s. I'll be adding a blog to myspace about a certain amount of people who have impacted my life.
so look out for that(:



When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the cross
I said, babe, you're not lost- michael buble

you make me happy.

you really do.
just thought I'd let you know.

I loveee shopping. or not at all.

I keep putting off my project. Gonna fail science, WHOOOO!

I saw taco tom. he is amazing. in every essence of the word.


I hate creepy old men. Especially when they hit on me.
"hey babyyy how you doin'." gross.

new cd. I loveeee it(:


oh and you did say that.
:D

everything isn't as messed up now. I just need to forget about it and you, and move on. I'll just do what I normally do. don't think about it, until I don't remember it at all.



"I think it's safe to say you're deadly in your own way
I've never felt so alive until I figured you out" - a skylit drive

its not worth it in the end

I give up.
everythings falling down around me.
its all my fault.
I do this thing where I push people away when they get too close.
And I can't listen to what other people say. I have to do things my own way.
And I need you to teach me not to.
But first, you need to make sure I dont make you leave.
I don't want you to leave.



I just dont know what to do now.
you dont know how much you hurt me, and me saying it to you will never be enough.
I need you to understand. I need you to at least explain to me whats going on.
I miss you.

Feel like every chance to leave is another chance I should have took. Every minute is a mile. I've never felt so hollow.- brand new.

Who knew?

I never realized how often I judge people. But I've decided to stop. Someone I never expected, is a lot like me. Same music, same interests.
Another person, is someone I've known for a while. But we hadn't talked in a very long time.

Alas, I left my stuff in the band room. SO STUPID>.<>
now I'm gonna fail science. gonna stay home from school to finish my project...
I miss you.
:/
and I feel bad. I can't talk to you about how I feel right now.
It'll hurt you too much.
it'll hurt me too much.

I NEED FOOD!


then ask me whats it like to have
myself so figured out.
i wish i knew..- brand new
thanks for the recommendation cam(:

I hate pizza.

Tuesdays and Thursdays, worse days of the week.
See, I have to see my dad on these days. He is in this stage, where he feels the need to ask a ton of questions about my mother, and then just freak out about everything I tell him.
"So life at home isn't that great then?" I wouldn't know dear father, I try to spend as little time here as possible.

I also hate Giovanni's pizza. I think the main ingredient is grease. Stupid Italian pizza.

Today was pretty good otherwise.
I have a band buddy again(:
I love my dear pattiecake. haha.

I love how Mr. Seniow will compliment me one minute, but if he sees me talking to Stuart, he yells at me for five minutes. He really hates him...

Adagio; worst piece I have ever played. Listening to it was amazing, it's a great piece, just not for our band. OH! by the way, I saw you staring at me, haha. I also noticed how you wouldn't look me in the eye. That, was very nice of you.


"And we'll all float on OK. And we'll all float on OK.
And we'll all float on OK. And we'll all float on anyway."- modest mouse

sing it loud, sing it proud.

So, I kind of really love being at church for most of the day. I love being able to go to first service again. And being part of something I've been missing out on for a while. I missed my kids:D
I also very much love my small group, and I love our new member, and how she doesn't think I'm completely psychotic, even though everyone else does. And I pretty much wet myself between the reading of passages about homosexuals and secrets that should have been kept.
I am very sad about not seeing my Joy till much later...

hahaha... So... TACOBELL. The one place I never wanted to eat at ever again, was actually somewhat enjoyable. Or amazing, either way(:
I made a new friend:DDD
whooo, and he's opinionated, I don't see people like that very often anymore. We had a very interesting conversation about ghosts and the afterlife, and friends I thought I knew a lot about. Guess I was wrong... oh well!

I kinda freaked out a little while ago. And it wasn't fair of me. I just got confused, and didn't know what was going on. So I'm sorry, really.


P.S. NO ONE EAT HARMAN'S COOKIES TOMORROW! (:

"I think you can do much better than me. After all the lies that I made you believe"- hinder

welcome new year.

So basically last night was a total drag. Just like every year! WHOOO.
My brother came over to bring me some sparkling cider. I should have known better than to drink it. I mean its my brother. So I drank like all of it. Guess what? apparently it was mostly alcohol.
I spent my night with a pounding headache while on the phone. Mostly arguing about how to say the word philosophical. I almost finished a five hundred piece puzzle! yay.
what a way to bring in the new year huh?

p.s. I am never drinking alcohol even when I'm of age.

"I'll search my home outside these borders. I'll run to meet up with the past. A Resolution for the New Life. This time I know it's gonna last "- pain of salvation