the journey is what makes it all worth it.

Bad thoughts;
I wonder why you're so worried about them. Everyone has them. People think about sex, suicide, murder. And you're worried about your thoughts. Your thoughts about your being?
I don't think I know what you mean. Are you regretting yourself? You shouldn't ever do that.
What were we talking about last night? How depression, ADD, ADHD, and all those other mental diseases, are self inflicted. Everything this world is now, everything people hate about it, is our own fault. You kept arguing with me about that. Did you realize we were arguing for the same conclusion? That we both thought the same thing, but yet we still argued.

You insulted my religion. I know we were both talking about our own opinions on religion. But was it really necessary to insult mine? You know how much it means to me, you could have just said you didn't believe in it, and that would have been fine. But telling me why my religion didn't make sense, was not okay. Religion is my everything.

"Keep your mind open, and your tongue silent."
How can you tell me to listen to you, if you won't do the same for me.
And you kept arguing with me about everything. Most people give up. What is wrong with you?
You're the only one who has ever fought me. And I don't like it. I know you're probably trying to teach me a lesson or something, but I don't like it.

"don't say I told you so."
"I told you so."
Really sweetie? really? I don't see how that was necessary, not in the least. Last time I checked, I didn't learn the lesson from you. I learned it from myself. I realize you had been telling me that all along. But when you say I told you so, you make it sound so defiant. Like, I finally realized I was wrong, and I should have listened to you.
You know I hate being told I'm wrong. I can figure out for myself when I'm wrong.


"I realized that I shouldnt have only one thing that keeps me going"
Oh how true this is. I do it a lot though anyways. Band. Religion. Friends. Never do all of these keep me going at once. Because I lose friends, my faith weakens, I do bad in band. It's only when things go well in these categories, and the other categories fade. Isn't that strange? How when one of these things goes well, the other two are all messed up?
I guess it works...

You're just a constant reminder.

I find you rather impolite, dear brother.
Just because I'm twelve years younger than you, doesn't mean I can't uphold an intelligent conversation. Maybe if you didn't talk over people all the time, you'd understand that.
Oh and mommie dearest, I'm so sorry. "MEG! walk faster, it's impossible to walk behind you when you walk that slow." Um, mom? there was a lady limping in front of me. I was trying to be polite. Sorry.

Slept over Abbey's last night(:
It was pretty rad.
Except I didn't need you hitting on me. Or touching me.
I have a boyfriend, which me and Abbey repeatedly told you.
" Do you wanna go lay down on her bed?"
UH. how about no?!
" I don't think he would date you. I think he would hook up with you."
Oh, thats great.

oh man, ouija boards. I don't believe in them at all. I find it amusing how much they freak sam out. What a pansy(:

I love how my mom listens in on my conversations, but doesn't listen when I'm talking to her.
"What are you talking about, I always listen to you. I heard what you just said."
"I was on the phone, I wasn't talking to you."
"But still"
And then she shipped me off to Abbey's.
I never said I was sleeping over.
"how many days are you staying there?"
"I wasn't planning on staying any."
"Well, why don't you go pack your bag."
ummm? Mom, really? I know you hate having me around, but you can't just make me stay over people's houses.

Tim comes back from New York tonight!
<3

"So what happened with you and Tim? Mel said you guys broke up."
"Just stuff."
"You aren't gonna tell me? And how come you're talking to him again?"
"Because we're still friends Mom."
I'm not telling her we're back together.
She wasn't even supposed to know we broke up.

I realized how much you suck.
Like, you are the suckiest person I've ever met.
Why was I ever friends with you?
You're such a fruitcake. No lie. You're a horrible person.
You think I'm an annoying freshman? I think you're an annoying junior. You're the one who always messaged me, not the other way around. You're the one who told people you liked me. I never told anyone I liked you, until after you stopped talking to me.
HAHA! I saw you in the hallway yesterday, and you just stared at me. Did you forget I wasn't going to New York? Did you forget that you promised we'd hang out this weekend? Well, I guess you remembered then. That's why you stared, and then walked away as fast as possible.
You're pathetic. You're the biggest excuse of a person I've ever met. Nice job running away from all your fears. Someday they'll all catch up to you, and you'll be screwed. I can't wait for the day that drugs aren't enough to make you happy. When you realize your whole life is messed up. And that it's all your fault.
I know why you told her you never liked me, and that I'm annoying. It's because you didn't want her to think you were pathetic for liking a freshman. Well, guess what, you aren't pathetic because you liked a freshman, you're pathetic because you lied about it. Oh, by the way, you can lie to her as much as you want, but she doesn't like you. And everyone knows it accept you. Everyone knows she leads you on, but she actually hates you.
Someday you'll realize how much time you've wasted on her. Just like I realized how much time I wasted on you. And maybe, when that day comes, you'll realize I'm not as annoying as you thought. You won't ever tell me you're sorry, whether you are or not. We both know that someday you will be, but you'll be too scared to ever admit it. It wouldn't matter if you did tell me or not. Because I think you're a loser. A pothead. A runaway. You're everything I used to be. And I wouldn't ever be able to deal with you. All you are, is a constant reminder. A reminder of how much I messed up my life. A reminder of how I hated myself. A reminder that I've finally changed, and now I'm happy. Without you, I'm happy. And that's the greatest thing you've ever done for me. You were a jerk. And now, I'm happy. I'm just... so happy.


He tells everyone a story, because he feels his life is boring,
and he fights so you won't ignore him, because that's his biggest fear,
and he cries, but you'll rarely see him do it.
He loves, but he's scared to use it.
So he hides behind the music, cause he likes it that way.
He knows, He's so much more than worthless,
he needs to find the surface, because he's starting to get nervous.- this is a call by tfk.

Hey, you. You're amazing. And I'm sorry I've been so horrible lately. But I'm glad I'm happy, and that I'm happy with you. You mean so much to me, and you're my best friend. I can talk to you about anything and you listen, and you care. I don't always tell you everything, because I don't want you to feel like you need to fix it.

"I call baby up.
Leave me alone.
I'm in pain but I won't let you band-aid my wound"-quiet mind by blue october.

I trust you with everything. And I can't see myself without you. Whether we stay together or not, I know you'll always be my best friend. Always.

"Back to where we left off, baby.
“How you been and what’s been new with you lately?”
Just forget it, it’s the same old runaround.
You build me up just to let me down." where were you by every avenue.

Please don't talk to me. Please. I don't wanna deal with you.


This blog is really long. It's because I haven't blogged in a few days because my computers messed up.

hate me today.

I just wanted you to know, that I NEVER wanted your help.
Never.
Why would I want the help of someone who doesn't know what to do herself?

Everyone's going to New York.
Not like it really matters, the only difference it will make is in Band.
And mod D, when Tim isn't there.
Gonna go to German mod A?! Just so I don't have to deal with you. Not like you'd go to Mod A anyways.

I finished my rocket! For once I didn't procrastinate. wOOt.
I'm really jealous of Jenna's family. They kid around with each other, and laugh and have fun. They all get along. She doesn't just go to her room when she gets home. And she doesn't mind when her mom comes in and talks to her. I wish I had a mother like that. One who actually cared.

I had so much more to write before.
I'll just go sleep...

We can only put a bandaid on to stop the bleeding

Have a good life.
I'm not gonna trash talk you, because you've said enough about me.
I don't wanna do that to you.
You've gone through a lot, and I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that.


In the years 1786-1887 the people of the time kept borrowing more and more money. Much like today, they borrowed more before paying it all back. And the "government" took away the people's farms if they were too heavily in debt. Kind of sounds familiar doesn't it? Mmm, people's homes being taken away to pay for all the money they've borrowed... The people of the time blamed the government, when in actuality it's the people's fault. History has repeated itself multiple times now. You'd think by now we'd realize what we're doing wrong.
In 1787, they had fixed most of what they had done, but the debt kept building up, and it's been building up ever since then. American is in debt by trillions of dollars, and what are we doing? We're still borrowing more money. I've always wondered why other countries haven't cut us off yet. To me it's pretty obvious we'll never pay it back. All the countries we're borrowing money from, think that by adding interest they'll make more money, but it actually makes it almost impossible to pay them back. We'll just fall completely behind. Oh, man, can't wait to watch the great depression happen all over again.
America may be the land of the free, but it's not exactly the land of the intelligent.

I really have a passion for civics, and politics. I think that if I were to go to college, I would major in something of that kind.

I love how Mr. Howe, was trying to debate me in English. It was funny, because he kept saying his opinion, and would not let me talk. And then he freaked out and said we had enough of politics. You can't open a debate, if all you're gonna do is voice your opinion, and not let anyone else share theirs. I am very opinionated Mr. Howe, especially when it comes to politics, and the economy. I know what's up. I don't need you acting like I'm an innocent fourteen year old who knows nothing about the world. Don't underestimate me. Because you'll just look stupid when I know just as much, if not more than, you. There is a reason why Mr. Sterling wants me to lead young republicans next year. It's because I know what I'm talking about.





Tonight's your last chance to
Do exactly what you want to- a boy brushed red...living in black and white by underoath.

CSH<3

why areyou loosing me?

8:56pmMeg youre leaving

8:56pmChris military?

8:57pmMeg yeah

8:57pmChris ll b fighting for you =D

8:58pmMeg (:you make me smile

8:59pmChrisi love you girly =D you know that

8:59pmMeg I love you too

8:59pmChris im not gone yet though. and even when i am ill miss you every day

I love you christopher scott hughes. this made me cry. you mean the world to me boy(:

Announce it the world.

I think I'm losing my two best friends.
"Meg, we're going to see him, he said he was baked."
I only agreed because I was gonna yell at him.
But when I got there I just felt horrible.
I sat there, and I couldn't say anything to him.
I couldn't express how angry I was. And then when I did, I felt terrible, because there he was not having any control over what he was doing. I realized it wasn't him who I was mad at it. Well that wasn't all of it anyways. I was mad at myself. I was mad that he is who I used to be. And that's scary. No one understands.
"you can't protect him from the world."
"I know, but I can protect him from himself."
I'm losing you. Where's the boy that would come to my house at ten just because I was having a bad day? Now you're off getting high. I miss you. I want my best friend back.

I'm losing you too. You're joining the military. You're gonna be off in training in a few weeks. I've lost both of you. I feel like I lost Chris a long time ago. He's not the same anymore.

What am I supposed to do? I lost my two absolute best friends. And I'm pushing away the only person who means anything to me anymore.
I'm gonna be all alone again.

I think Audrey is the only one who understood how upset I was about the Stu thing.
She got up to say good bye to me. I know she's not okay with what he's doing either.

Chris, you said we were going there to yell at him for what he did. You didn't yell at him. You scolded him for like ten seconds. Why would you put me in that position? You know how I feel about drugs. Seeing my best friend on them, is the worst possible thing you could do to me. So thanks for that. He kept saying I was making him feel guilty. I didn't mean to, but I'm glad I did. You cannot be mad at me. You do not deserve that privilege.
"Meg, where are you going?"
"Come on Meg, just announce it to the world."
"Meg come back? are you uncomfortable?"
"Fuck you Meg. Just announce it to the world"
"have a goodnight Meg."
"Thanks Audrey, you too."


I couldn't say anything to any of them except Audrey.




How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high? - champagne supernova by oasis.

Understand the power of your words.

I got home at three in the morning last night.
Yes I said three in the morning.
Why?
Because my mom didn't pick up her phone, or give me a curfew. I didn't wanna get home at a time where I would have to talk my mother. Because I knew the moment I did that my day would be ruined.

The square dancing was great. hahaha people thought we had been square dancing for years, but it was the all the girl's first time(:
Things like that make me smile. Also dressing up for the square dance makes me smile.
Hour and a half car drives make me so happy. I love just being in a car, and talking with friends. Well in this case it was a bunch of twenty year olds and two seniors. But I went because Emily asked me to, and who wouldn't wanna go to a square dance?!
Tenor, Evan, Kyle, Jason, Troy, and Travis. They were all so amusing. I think that if me and Kyle had talked more, he would have discovered we have a lot in common. He's a complete metal head. I love guys like that(:
Evan was a total cutie pie, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was gay. I wouldn't be surprised if Troy was gay either. Haha, Tenor was interesting... And definitely had a thing for Emily.

Haha, Jasmine, Leah, Emily and Tree, what a great bunch of girls(:


I actually also love going to a Diner at two in the morning.
<3

DUDE! their apartment was amazing, seven t.v's and like four computers. It's because they have so many people living there. And they don't always wanna play the same video game.
BAHAHAHA! It's basically what my apartment will look like when I'm older.

Ughhh, didn't go to small group because I was still asleep.
And today was starbuck's dayy.
Oh well, it's not like I have any money anyways,

I wish that I could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week- flavor of the week, by american high five.