family is forever, minus a few years or so.

It's the story of history, and how it'll always repeat.
The tale of the most beautiful person you know.
A novel of the life of a simple person, that somehow makes a difference.

Spending time with family that you haven't talked to in six months, and haven't really talked to in years is rather interesting. It involves a lot of stories. Figuring out the important, and leaving behind the seemingly uninteresting.

I only got to see Justin for a little bit, we didn't talk very much.
He's such a good father. And he still has the same old sense of humor. The kind I take after. Jess, Mel and I talked about how different I am from everyone else in the family. How the only person I really look like is my dad and Melly. Personality wise I'm kind of the same as Justin. But I've always been the odd one out. But really, I'm okay with that.

I miss when I was younger. When I saw everything through rose colored glasses. When you still knew how to block out the bad, because when you're a kid, the worst that can happen is your mom doesn't let you have candy(Obviously there are some exceptions). When all you see, is all you know. The bad is orchestrated into normal. You don't know anything else, and you accept things as they are.
Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna go back, because I'd rather know the truth. To actually know the people you're living with. To know that they aren't faking it for you anymore. That you aren't even worth trying to fool.

I guess I never really talked about how bad things really were. I didn't see the need to. I don't want people's pity(Whether Bego agrees or not doesn't matter:P). And I never really have. When I do, its for small, meaningless things.
But I don't want people feeling sorry for me, which often happens when I tell my story. I don't want that. I want them to know that I made it through, and they can, too. That from my story, they can help other people. Understand a little bit better what it means to honestly not have a family. To see how difficult it is to try and sew everything back together.

"Family is forever"
But if it was never really a family, does it mean family is never?
Or does it mean, that sometimes you just have to get rid of the bad, and start over? That you can make it through anything with your family if you work hard enough? Because some of this family, is the reason we aren't one.


I know, I know. You wanna grow up, and then when you are, all you wanna do is go back to being young again.
Yeah, that happens to most people, but when your childhood was like mine, I would do anything to leave it behind. To move forward and feel no need to look behind me.

I want: to be a missionary
Junior year, here I come.
Cause yanno, I'm so sick of not being good enough.
and yanno, this is gonna be the year that changes it all.
Baby, there's nothing holding me back this year.