Walking at a slow pace through the parking lot.
The sun was glistening off the blonde of her hair.
She could feel the heat through her sweatshirt.
She started to fall behind her friends more and more.
As she walked and thought.
How is it possible to feel so much guilt for something you haven't done?
For something one of your friends has done, but yet you're guilt ridden instead of them.

She looked up to the clear blue sky and wondered how things would be different if she could change whatever she pleased.
The way that boy knew the right things to say at the right time.
Parents who won't take responsibility.
A girl who seems to have changed, but it can't be taken for sure.
Just anything.

So she walked, and when she got in the car, she stared out her window.
She saw the people walking down the street, and she felt calm.
She saw the river running, and wished she could be as free, but as reserved as the river is.

She knows shes a disappointment, she knows shes an inspiration.
And still she doesn't understand.
There's always been a difference between knowing, and understanding.
She knows theres a difference, but she doesn't understand it.

She got out of the car, and felt the sharp pain pierce throughout her body. So unlike the electric feeling she had felt a few hours before when he held her hand.
Everything changes. Different feelings always have the same base root.
Love and hate can be the same thing.

And so now she sits. She sits, and thinks about all of these things, and wonders if any of them make sense. Or if she's just trying to be a river. She knows how, but she doesn't understand.
She prays someday, she'll be free, but have complete control.
That she won't be able to change anything. And that everything will just be as clear as the bright blue sky.