Chris left today.
I didn't get to say goodbye.
So I wrote him a letter.
My stomach hurts, and my eyes keep watering.
I keep thinking about him, and how I won't see him for so long.
I don't know what to do.
The only person, who knows everything about me, is gone.
My absolute best friend. My brother.
I can barely see what I'm typing.
Box city, the quarries, petland, mcdonalds, new jersey, sitting in church together, building 19, I wish I could list every memory I have with him. But there are so many. I've known him for ten years. I love him to death. Who's gonna walk me to school now? Who's gonna go job hunting with me? Who's gonna just walk into my house and wake me up, because I've been sleeping too much?
Who will just sit in my livingroom talking about everything with me?
I can't do this. My support is gone.
I saw some random army guy at walmart yesterday. He smiled at me. I started crying and ran out of the store.
I probably ruined his day.
I'm being selfish. Chris did what he thought was right for his life. I just hope he writes to me often, and if he gets phone calls, he better call me.
I'll survive. Sure I might cry myself to sleep every night. But that'll go away after a while too, right?
"I promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine."- promise by eve 6
I support your decision, no matter how much it hurts. I love you, that's all that matters right?
"I promise not to try not to let you down"
I'm gonna try harder now. Do better in school, behave better, try to be okay. I just want you to know, how much I love you.
"I promise not to try not to, not to, not to leave"
I will be here, every time you visit, and when you officially come back. There is no way I'm not seeing you.
"In a day and a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again"- here's to the night by eve 6
"Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gonna come too soon"
"All my time is frozen in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go"
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