Forever isn't long enough.

"you're a pretty impressive person meg"
Was I just trying to boost my ego? Pushing him along, so he'd feed me lies again?
Or maybe, they were never lies.
"Theres so much to like about you"
I always thought you said things like that, to make me feel good about myself. But now I wonder, did you really feel this way all along?

I'm pretty good at knowing what I can't have, and leaving it at that. So instead, I became best friends with you. Watched from a distance, never longing, nor wanting. Just being there for you, with you. I never knew you liked me. You were so caught up in other things. Other people.


"its okay(: you know when we first started walking home together? And we'd just sit on your front steps? haha, when I'd go home, I'd feel really depressed. And I never knew why. But I think I may have figured it out."
"why hun?"
"Because I never wanted to leave. At that time, I really liked you. You made me happy, and thats why I always spent so much time at your house. Because you could make me smile, and I never wanted to go back to my family."
"..honey i never knew that"
"haha. I figured you should know"
"well next year is another
so why dont you just spend more days at my house"

I don't know why I needed to tell you that. Sometimes, I just feel the need to tell people how much I care. How big of an impact they made, or something along those lines. And it always seems to be at a time when that person needs it.
But with him, it's different.
The feeling I get when I leave his house, or he says something really nice to me. I don't know what it is. He's the only person who gives me that feeling. It's almost hate and love mixed in one.
Am I in love with him? No, I don't think so. Do I love him? Very much.

There's nothing I fear more than him losing himself. I'm afraid he's almost gotten to that point. But would he have apologized to me, if he was already there? I doubt it. I want him to find himself again.

There were always signs. His whole family loved me. The feeling I would get. The things he would say. How our clothes always matched:P When we'd say the same thing in unison. Or we'd both be thinking the same thing.

We were meant to be best friends.