I just want to save you.

Taken! good movie. I recommend it.
Liam Neeson basically wrecked everyone in the movie except for maybe five people(:
But I don't understand how on earth going to see U2 could be worth all that?
:DDD
I got to hang out with two of the most interesting people I know(:
"Get your chili burger! echo echo echo."
:D
"would you like some pleasure?"
TCI tech of chili.
(:
my how I love those twos company.

Early releases normally mean you go home early, but if you're like me, you stay at school until two thirty.

I am in a Rise Against zone right now. as well as Vanessa Carlton, and Coheed and Cambria.
Hmm odd combination.

I need to go do something today.
Instead of sleeping for hours at a time.


That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer to the questions that you still have- savior by rise against

no one should be compared to average.

Do you wanna explain to me how its okay for things like this to all pile up and come at me all at once? Why its okay for you to act one way in front of one person, and completely different in front of me? How its okay that my mom proves every day that she couldn't care less about me? How on earth its okay that I spend hours with you and the more time I spend with you the less I understand you?

I am starting to question how anything is okay, if you hadn't noticed.
I love how only me and Nihco are capable of staying at school for twelve hours.
How only Stuart can make me feel like that.
How lately only one person can make me feel better.
How you deny you need help.
Oh, by the way, miss queen bee of bitchiness, thank you for completely ruining my day. I mean it was the icing on the cake, and I really appreciate it. Like you don't even understand, so thank you.

I LOVE OLIVIA PAPP!
:DDD
and I can't even explain why<3

I can't wait to get out of here.
leave this place, and all these sucky memories.
all the people who have messed up my life.

day by day, just take it day by day.

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down- into the ocean by blue october

time after time

I love eighties music.

Once again, I hate Tuesdays and Thursdays.
My day started off great, other than finding out I have to take the first semester of science again.
Stuart came over and ate all my food as usual, and then he went to Troy's. He left his bag here though. And then I went out with Chris, to movie gallery, McDonald's and then Troy's house to get Stuart. But Stuart was too busy playing video games(:
and then Chris came over for like ten minutes, because I was forced to go to subway. I should have said I wasn't going. That was one of the worst experiences of my life.
I cannot stand it when people lie to my face. Especially about something as huge as that is. It's not okay, and you apologizing won't be enough. I can't hate you. It goes again everything I believe in. But you can't try to make me feel guilty about things you've done. That's not fair.

I'm so glad you care enough to listen to me vent(: I love new found friends.
I also love going two thousand minutes over the phone bill, and not getting grounded for it!
:D
Another thing I love, is friends showing up at ten at night, just to make me feel better.
You're truly one of my best friends(:
and I love you dearly.

I hate snow days. I sleep all day. And there's nothing to distract me from thinking about things I'd rather not think about.

um, how am I supposed to talk to you for only half an hour every night...?
This will be a difficult task.

New Goal! to not fail this semester of science too. I'd really rather not take this whole year of science over again. I'd probably kill myself.

Update on civics! Mr. Tagalakis definitely hates me(:
"You're in young republicans and you got nineteen questions right out of forty on the test...?!"

dude, like I pay attention in young republicans. I'm only in it to get out of classes every now and then. I'm not even a republican!
xD

I've given up on you. I don't know why it took me so long to. You gave up on me weeks ago.
I just had this hope that everything would be okay. And now I see how terribly wrong I was.
Even the best of friendships end eventually. I just wish this one could have lasted longer.
A LOT longer.

My motto on life? Life sucks and then you die.
simple as that.
and now that I understand that, hopefully things won't hit me as hard.


We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side- open arms by journey

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.

This is so irritating. Why can't anyone let me stay happy? It's almost like people are like OH NO! Megs happy, we have to ruin it for her. I really hope people don't actually think that, it just always works out like that.
And I thought you were one of my best friends. Just goes to show you shouldn't trust everyone.

Mr. Tagalakis. Mr Tags. Mr. T bomb:D and yes I called him all of these in the course of one day.
he definitely already hates me. "marguerite delaney." "call me meg ." "woahhhh snappy."
this semesters gonna be interesting.

so semi was interesting.I love when my best friends overdose on pain killers...

aww honey, I feel bad now...
"heyyy, heyyy baby, I wanna know, if you'll be my girl, unless you're already taken? "
awww, how do you respond to that?
well you say no, but then you feel bad.

um, my mother really approves of you.
and its weird.
she doesn't approve of people...



And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am- iris, by the goo goo dolls.

mariocart, subway, job hunting, and sneaking around(:

my day started at eight thirty, and I sat around until nine thirty, and then was forced to sneak around for an hour and a half. Well, maybe not forced(:
I had fun:D

And then I watched back to the future! WOOOO!
after that, job hunting with my best frienddddd! Then we ventured through the tundra to get to stuarts(:
hahaha dude, his dad and his sister still want me and Stu to date. Why? I don't get it.
And apparently I am the cutest thing ever, and if Stuart's girlfriend was a freshman boy she'd think I was cute. I'm not cute at all. And the last person I want telling me I am, is her.

I found a semi dress! Because Aura is ahhhmazing(:
And I love her very much<3
its kind of a lightish blue.
and its not gonna match, but oh well, I really like it.
:D

No clue what I'm doing tomorrow, besides mid terms, possibly hanging with cool people.
Friday, also hanging with cool people.
Saturday, ditto. And then semi, whoooo.
Sunday, church and then hanging with cool people.
Monday, hanging with one extremely cool person that I miss dearly<3
It's kind of weird that I have this all planned, I never plan more than two days in advance.
Hopefully semi will great, and then I can talk to people about certain things...
:D

"how come you never come see my boy anymore? I tried to do a little love connection with you two."
"dad are you serious?! are you f****** serious?"
actually sir, I'm here everyday after school, and I have no intentions of ever dating your boy.
too bad I can't actually say that to him...


"What makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible"- vulnerable, by secondhand serenade

Say it ain't so, I will not go

I have to put my science notebook together!
>.<


haha, you don't hate me, it definitely seemed like you did.

can't wait for midterms tomorrow...
I have so many plans this week, I don't know how to organize them all!

haha got back from Whitney's a little while ago. She drives me crazy.
<3

I need to get a dress for semi!
:/
this is gonna be disastrous. I have no idea what looks good on me...
I was so freaked out that I'd have to choose between semi and my small group.
dudeeee, I don't know what I would have chosen.
either way I wouldn't be happy...
I'm glad I don't have to choose(:

woooo. I have no life.


turn the lights off, carry me home- blink-182, all the small things

ode to whitney

Whitney is fat, and she doesn't reply to my every whim:D
I am fat and need food. She should understand that.
shes like double my weight.
And plus she wants to eat her weight in cheez its. I'm the fat one? don't think so.

So she's basically my best friend, even though all I do is make fun of her.
(:
we're the biggest losers I have ever met.
How do we get older guys again?
it doesnt make any sense!
maybe back fat and stubby hairs turn guys on? :D
all we do is sit on her bed for hours, and consume our weight in cheez its and pop tarts.
She also belches a lot. :DDD


Just chewin on the titty fat
Pursuin the kitty cat,
droolin on her pretty hat
Playing pool and pitty pat,
stay in school
Kiddies, brats, instead of spring tools and shitty gats
Layin cool, where they at?
Same jewels as silly rats rulin with gritty stacks
Coolin where the cliques be at
It's no time for chitty chat,
fool V pity that
Follow your instincts
I told her time and time again not to swallow pink drinks
I guess it's just how the hollow link clinks
V, the fink who made the chink in the mink wink
They say he need a shrink
On the brink to pipe it when her sink made a stinky stink
Instead he asked her for some paper and some ink
Coulda flipped it longer 'cept the beat was rather rinky-dink
Still workin out the kinks
Everytime he thinks his third eye blinks
It must be in your blood like zinc
Glassy-eyed V put your CD on jinx- viktor vaughn.
Where do we find these songs?!

btw, our personalities suck, and we're obese. We shouldn't have friends.


whitney sucks.
(:

let me run.

Church was cancelled today.
so bored...


please stop making me face my fears.
There's a reason I block these things out.
I'm not ready to see myself for what I really am.
I'm scared of what I'll find.

As for what I told you last night, I don't want that to effect anything.
That was the first time I let myself think about it, and I didn't know what to say. And I think it made you more upset than you'll ever let on.

um, yesterday, I hung out with my older sister, at the movies, for six hours. my niece is adorable, but she's such a handful, haha.
I saw the unborn, it was lame as far as scary movies go.
hahaha. I love my sisters fiances lesbian sister...
"are you sure you don't want some meat?" I'm all set, thanks...

I neeeed to do something very soon.


Caught my breath on my way home.
Couldn’t stop that spinning force.
I fell into you- in the flowers by animal collective.

I love three day weekends.

my weekend is gonna be full of sleeping and eating.
possibly hanging with people if I feel like it.
I feel the need to hang out with people I've just met(:
are there any good shows this weekend?
if there are, does anyone wanna go, hahaha.

church on sunday, possibly free after that?

whooo midterm week is coming up. I'm gonna bomb(:
I am a Deutschbag(:
if only saying inappropriate things in German would help me pass the midterm...
:DDD
Basically I go to school at the regular time all week, except for Thursday, I get out early everyday, and I have Wednesday off. Maybe midterms won't be as bad as I thought.

dude, I am so sick of everyone pointing out what my flaws are, because um, actually, I already know what they are. And I am trying to fix them. But if you don't care if I change or not, whats the point? and honey, I've been trying my best to get him to consider you, but you telling me that I'm stealing him from you, is not helping yourself. because actually, I have no reason to want him. I'm quite content with what I have now, thank you.
>.<
btw, you're supposed to be one of my best friends. So stop telling me everyone hates me, because um yeah, that's not true. I'm pretty sure the people that matter, don't hate me, soooo...

wow, I was kind of a witch there, with a capital "B".
I'm just kind of pissed, so sorry.

But um other than that, today was a somewhat good day. The assembly was good for once. and I didn't have to sit through two of them! w00t! oh yeah, and everyone should join the young republicans(:

bert rhondoism.

I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry that I mess everything up for you. But I don't ever mean to.
you being happy is very important to me, but most of the things I do to try and protect you always backfire.things are so messed up for me. And I don't know how to change any of the shit I've caused. And I don't know how to apologize, because me just saying sorry and meaning it, will never be enough.
I hate how much we're alike. In some ways its great, but in a lot of other ways, it screws everything up. I'm sorry that I do things that make you angry at me. And I promise I'll consider every angle of something before I actually do it. please don't leave me. When Sarah stopped talking to me, it hurt so much. And I know it hurt you too when things messed up between the two of you. I really don't want that to happen to us. you mean so much to me. You're my support. you've saved me from suicide so many times. and losing you would just be too much.

I love you so much. and I really want things to work out.








side note. The jazz band was good tonight.
<333


As long as you're alive
Here I am- the taste of ink by the used

it just... doesn't sound good anymore.

So basically, I'm kind of sick of you and all your lying and rumors.
I know what you really are.
And so does everyone else. I just don't know how to tell you.

you mean a lot to me. And I wasn't jealous today because I feel like I should be able to trust you.
Just tell me if I'm wrong. Oh, and thanks a ton for helping me with my science project.
(:

I love Monday's. The weekend is over, and I feel refreshed. And plus, I get to see everyone again. I just can't stand spending all this time at my house. It's basically an insane asylum here.

I realized today, how even though I love you very much. You vent at me, instead of to me. And I wanna be there for you. I just don't want you to take everything out on me. your mood swings confuse me, and make me think I'm doing something terribly wrong. hmm, but I do love walking home with you and the other kid(:

basically. you are wasting you're time. move on. she's not worth it. And she seems to make you more upset than she'll ever make you happy. I hate seeing you like this. And I don't appreciate how you act when we hang out anymore. I can't deal with it. You're sending wayyyy too many mixed signals, and it's screwing with my emotions.

um, my mom got a myspace. What is this world coming to?!

p.s. I'll be adding a blog to myspace about a certain amount of people who have impacted my life.
so look out for that(:



When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the cross
I said, babe, you're not lost- michael buble

you make me happy.

you really do.
just thought I'd let you know.

I loveee shopping. or not at all.

I keep putting off my project. Gonna fail science, WHOOOO!

I saw taco tom. he is amazing. in every essence of the word.


I hate creepy old men. Especially when they hit on me.
"hey babyyy how you doin'." gross.

new cd. I loveeee it(:


oh and you did say that.
:D

everything isn't as messed up now. I just need to forget about it and you, and move on. I'll just do what I normally do. don't think about it, until I don't remember it at all.



"I think it's safe to say you're deadly in your own way
I've never felt so alive until I figured you out" - a skylit drive

its not worth it in the end

I give up.
everythings falling down around me.
its all my fault.
I do this thing where I push people away when they get too close.
And I can't listen to what other people say. I have to do things my own way.
And I need you to teach me not to.
But first, you need to make sure I dont make you leave.
I don't want you to leave.



I just dont know what to do now.
you dont know how much you hurt me, and me saying it to you will never be enough.
I need you to understand. I need you to at least explain to me whats going on.
I miss you.

Feel like every chance to leave is another chance I should have took. Every minute is a mile. I've never felt so hollow.- brand new.

Who knew?

I never realized how often I judge people. But I've decided to stop. Someone I never expected, is a lot like me. Same music, same interests.
Another person, is someone I've known for a while. But we hadn't talked in a very long time.

Alas, I left my stuff in the band room. SO STUPID>.<>
now I'm gonna fail science. gonna stay home from school to finish my project...
I miss you.
:/
and I feel bad. I can't talk to you about how I feel right now.
It'll hurt you too much.
it'll hurt me too much.

I NEED FOOD!


then ask me whats it like to have
myself so figured out.
i wish i knew..- brand new
thanks for the recommendation cam(:

I hate pizza.

Tuesdays and Thursdays, worse days of the week.
See, I have to see my dad on these days. He is in this stage, where he feels the need to ask a ton of questions about my mother, and then just freak out about everything I tell him.
"So life at home isn't that great then?" I wouldn't know dear father, I try to spend as little time here as possible.

I also hate Giovanni's pizza. I think the main ingredient is grease. Stupid Italian pizza.

Today was pretty good otherwise.
I have a band buddy again(:
I love my dear pattiecake. haha.

I love how Mr. Seniow will compliment me one minute, but if he sees me talking to Stuart, he yells at me for five minutes. He really hates him...

Adagio; worst piece I have ever played. Listening to it was amazing, it's a great piece, just not for our band. OH! by the way, I saw you staring at me, haha. I also noticed how you wouldn't look me in the eye. That, was very nice of you.


"And we'll all float on OK. And we'll all float on OK.
And we'll all float on OK. And we'll all float on anyway."- modest mouse

sing it loud, sing it proud.

So, I kind of really love being at church for most of the day. I love being able to go to first service again. And being part of something I've been missing out on for a while. I missed my kids:D
I also very much love my small group, and I love our new member, and how she doesn't think I'm completely psychotic, even though everyone else does. And I pretty much wet myself between the reading of passages about homosexuals and secrets that should have been kept.
I am very sad about not seeing my Joy till much later...

hahaha... So... TACOBELL. The one place I never wanted to eat at ever again, was actually somewhat enjoyable. Or amazing, either way(:
I made a new friend:DDD
whooo, and he's opinionated, I don't see people like that very often anymore. We had a very interesting conversation about ghosts and the afterlife, and friends I thought I knew a lot about. Guess I was wrong... oh well!

I kinda freaked out a little while ago. And it wasn't fair of me. I just got confused, and didn't know what was going on. So I'm sorry, really.


P.S. NO ONE EAT HARMAN'S COOKIES TOMORROW! (:

"I think you can do much better than me. After all the lies that I made you believe"- hinder

welcome new year.

So basically last night was a total drag. Just like every year! WHOOO.
My brother came over to bring me some sparkling cider. I should have known better than to drink it. I mean its my brother. So I drank like all of it. Guess what? apparently it was mostly alcohol.
I spent my night with a pounding headache while on the phone. Mostly arguing about how to say the word philosophical. I almost finished a five hundred piece puzzle! yay.
what a way to bring in the new year huh?

p.s. I am never drinking alcohol even when I'm of age.

"I'll search my home outside these borders. I'll run to meet up with the past. A Resolution for the New Life. This time I know it's gonna last "- pain of salvation