I'm down to just one thing.

I want to throw up until my innards bleed.
I walked by, expecting to just find you.
But there were two sets of feet there.
It was a cute picture, like something I'd take a picture of, but then why, why did I want to go to the bathroom, and puke until my head hurt?
I can't explain it, and how can anyone expect me to?
Instead of puking, I walked in, like I had planned to, to get the folder Stuart asked me to.
And I talked to you, both of you. I'm so glad Justin walked in, because I felt awkward. So awkward. How could I feel awkward? I don't get embarrassed, so tell me why I am now?
This is irritating.
I can't talk to you about it, without sounding jealous. So maybe I am? Just the fact that you two stand in there playing piano, just like we used to.

"I would have cried."
ahhh, Jenna, I love talking with you about things, just talking about life(:
But still, she made me want to cry.
wtf is this? I don't cry, I hate this more than anything.

I hate this so much.

I just started to be happy.
Why did it all have to fall apart?

"I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine"



"And I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside"- mr brightside by the killers

Ever wonder why people throw up on command?
You know that feeling after you throw up? Where you just feel so much better?
I love that feeling more than anything. Having control over my body, making myself feel better, just by throwing up everything.
For me it's also the idea, of getting rid of everything, the food, the acid, my thoughts.
I know that doesn't make sense, but I guess it's more metaphorical than anything.

lies.lies.lies.
Why do people lie to me to protect me?
I know when you're lying, and it hurts more than the truth would.

Have you talked to her about everything we used to?
Because it sounds like it.

I need a road trip.
I think I'll ask Taylor about that one.
Maybe he'll drive for miles with me to the middle of nowhere.
That is, when he gets a car again...


I need to talk to you.
Why is it that Emily told me about what you're doing?
This is not okay, and you disgust me.

I tried to tan today, but now my face is burnt, and my skin is a yellowish color.
So now I have squinty japanese eyes, and yellow skin, I'm becoming more asian everyday(:


"I still recall the taste of your tears.
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore.

You make this all go away.
You make this all go away.
I'm down to just one thing.
And I'm starting to scare myself.
You make this all go away.You make this all go away.
I just want something.
I just want something I can never have"- something I can never have by Nine Inch Nails


"Maybe when I'm out of yellow, I'll date again."
"me?"
"hopefully."

You say that on the phone, but at school you barely talk to me, you'll look at me, but that's it.
What that's all about? Andy talks to me more at school than you do. Never expected that...
So much for staying friends. You're only my friend on the phone, when no one else is around.
stupid boy.