pieces of the puzzle.

when you have all the pieces, you control that person...

you wrote that in your blog weeks ago.
Did you have all my pieces? Did you put every last jigsaw piece together?
Did you know you could control me completely? Did you know that telling me I'm going crazy, would make me do just that? Did you know that everything I've done in the past two days, feels right, but nothing has ever felt so wrong at the same time?
The fact that when we were standing in the park, my thoughts consisted of his reaction, what he would do at that instant, the fights we've been having.
How horrible I feel about making you so angry.
How badly I need to talk to you.
How I need to say I still miss you.
That maybe you're the reason this happened.
That this is the reason you won't talk to me.
I know I messed up.

I got needy, and clingy, and you were sick of it.
I made it seem like it was all about me, and its not. Not at all.
And if I barely exist on your mind now, I think I'd understand.
But it still doesn't stop the fact that I need to talk to you.


"I have to go think about stuff."
"like how you don't want to get back together with me now."
I'm such a self absorbed bitch all the time.
You have so much to deal with, and I just couldn't get that through my head.
Please pick up your phone so I can talk to you. please.
I need it. More than anything right now. I need to apologize for everything.

I can't stand the idea of losing you.
I've already lost you as my boyfriend.
I don't wanna lose my best friend too.
That's just too much to deal with.
You're my support.
You're the only one who I've shared all my secrets with.
You're the only one I trust completely.
You're the only who put together my puzzle, and still stuck around.
But there's a piece missing now. You can't call a puzzle complete if theres a piece missing.
Won't you put the piece back?