(9:09:06 PM) meg: whos there?
(9:09:18 PM) harman: Harman and he will always be there for you
"and you don't know how much you've done for me,in the little time I've known you, you've been so good to me"
"and im glad i can help you in your time of need"How did I ever earn friends like these. Everyone hates me, but yet, I have these people. These people who, no matter what, they care. And its kind of like god. I realized that even though I haven't really thought about God in weeks, that he was always there.
Today, at ignite, they had us put the name of someone we were surrendering to God. I put your name in the box. And I kept a copy of exactly what I wrote on it. And I don't think I should have done that. Because, the point was to give you up, and I didn't. I just had to keep a copy. And now it's gonna haunt me. I can't get rid of it, no not now. It'll be a constant reminder of everything you've done to me. Why do I let people get to me so easily?
It's like you. You've done so much to me, but in the end I was the one apologizing.
"I really don't think you should have said sorry"
I was horrible to her, no wonder she dislikes me so much, because I say things like that when I'm upset. At least I didn't do my worst. I wanted to say horrible, nasty things to her. But anyone who knows me, knows I can't do that. After all you've done to me, I could never do that to you. You've ruined my whole reputation. People ask me for sex in the hallways, and everyone calls me names. With everything else I have going on, I couldn't deal with it anymore.
"They just said that you can't be trusted. And that you did horrible things to them.
but meg baby, I don't see it. I just, can't see it."
I got to spend a lot of my day with one of the only people I trust anymore. How do I know I trust her? Because I can tell she's genuinely sorry about everything she's done. The jealousy, the talking behind my back. The fact that she stood up for me. You never needed to, you didn't have to. But the fact that you did, means so much. I love you so much. You've helped me. And you've been there for me, when I need it the most. I loved walking to Dunkin Donuts with you in the rain, searching for "zebra gum", and finding out what froth is. I can see you being the person I trust with everything. And I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through. But everything that we're going through now, we'll go through together. I wanna go to celebrate recovery with you, and strengthen my faith with you. I love you.
"just let it die meg.
sorry to be a dick
just let go."
How do you expect me to let this go. I've tried to let this go. Oh my God I've tried. I've done everything. But in the end you're the one thing that remains. I hate you. I want this to stop.
I need this to stop.
I can't deal with the idea of you anymore.
Please God, help me forget about this. I need to forget about this.
Um, you need to come back, soon. I need to see you, I need you to help me with all of this.
Oh my god. I don't have that anniversary anymore. Why on earth did I do that? No, I don't regret it. I don't. I should. I wish I did. Dear God, help me. Please help me. I need you.
So tell me where did I go wrong before you
Before you came along
Well, it seems like I was lost
You showed me how to do things right
Now I'm so glad that now you're mine- better with you by five times august.
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