i really wish you didn't feel like you had to end it with me.

Mental breakdowns;I've had a lot of those lately, haven't I?

Everything is falling apart.
My friendships.
My relationship.
My family.
My life

girl, you drive me up the wall sometimes. I can't trust you anymore. And I have replaced you. Because you replaced me too. Think about it. I know they're your best friends now. But why does that mean we can't be friends anymore? Wtf am I supposed to do? We haven't actually talked in months. And I have all these people coming up and telling me we aren't friends anymore, when did that happen? When did you give up on our friendship?
I want us to remain friends. Because I need you, and you need me. So why can't we work this out? We've worked it out all the other times.
High school has changed us. I know it's changed me, I've changed for the worse for the most part. I dunno about you. I'm just worried about you.


Relationships; sigh. These never work out for me. I don't actually like relationships. But I thought that maybe because you're so amazing, that'd change. But it hasn't. It hasn't changed at all. I like you soooo much, you have no idea, I just... Don't like relationships.


My family; what is with them nowadays? They take everything out on me. I spend most of my time in my room now, in desperate hopes of avoiding them. But the moment I come out of my room I'm attacked. Josh, you have NO authority over me, so stop acting like my dad. My dad was never there for me, so I definitely don't need you telling me what to do. Hey mommie dearest. Fxck you. I don't even talk to you anymore. And when I try to tell you whats bothering me, you act like its no big deal. It is a big deal. It's a fxcking huge deal. My life is falling apart, and you don't even give a fxck. Hey Stephen, yeah I can't even call you Dad anymore. Because you stopped being one of those ages ago.
I absolutely hate being at home. Which is why I sleep all the time.
Mom, does it even bother you that I might not make it to sophomore year? Because it doesn't seem like it. If I bring home a good test grade you don't even congratulate me on it. And when I bring home F's and D's, you still don't care. Like I've said before, why should I try to succeed if you don't care either way?

I'm being so emotional right now. I hate being emotional. Emotions are for weak people. I'm stronger than this. I hate myself. Strong headed, that's what I've always been. So why can't I just get over all this?

because it feels like I have nothing left to live for anymore

I just wanna go get wasted.
NO MEG. SHUT UP. YOU AREN'T DOING THIS ANYMORE.
everyone hates it when you do this, it makes them disappointed in you. And you HATE that. so don't do it.


Its no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cuz every now and then I kick the living shit out of me- my own worst enemy by Lit.