burdens as these, never seem to fade.

These dreams have come back. I don't know why they just randomly show up. I feel like I'm supposed to talk to you. Call you, see how you are. Maybe this is a sign that we'll be okay. That I still have no hard feelings towards you. I know I don't. I knew I never could, even though I played it off as I did. Oh well, I'm not going to you, if you need something, you have my number, and you can call anytime. anytime you need me.

Once again. I'm not going to call you tonight. I dunno what's going on with you, but I'm sure you'll be fine soon. If you don't call, I'll just walk to school tomorrow. And I'll spend my night talking to people who actually enjoy my company. And even if you do, well if you do, you'll call. will you call?

I don't like the effect I have on you. No not at all. I don't like that I feel like I'm supposed to help you, but whenever I leave, or you do, you just feel worse. I've only known you a few weeks, why do you feel so connected with me? To be honest, it's downright scary. But I did make you promise. So I still have to pick up when you call. If you have enough courage to call me during that, then I need enough courage to help you get through it. Give me courage.


My brother tried to fix my bike today, but the chain needs to be replaced. That may have been the most depressing thing I've ever heard. So instead, I used my sisters new one. I absolutely love the way it feels. I don't like how it doesn't let me pedal down hills though. I'll have to fix that.
I dunno, there's just something about riding my bike, that gives me such a natural high. The wind that no one else can feel. The feeling that makes you think you're soaring. When you go so fast, your eyes water. When I'm riding, I don't think about anything that goes on in my day. I think of the turns I have to make, the next signal, avoiding that pothole, that car, when to speed up, when to slow down. Absolutely everything.

You called and asked to hang out today. I wasn't very enthusiastic about it, with everything you've been doing lately. You could sense it in my voice, you knew I didn't want to. But after you hung up, I felt horrible. I called you back, said I wanted to hang out with you. You said you'd call back. You never did. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just I see who you are now, and I remember how you used to be. How we used to be. Those days after school we would spend together. You'd apologize for becoming depressed, and said you just needed someone there. I was always more than happy to be that someone. Because I love you, I do. But I'm so worried about you. I just miss the way you were, the time we spent together. Everything.