spiraling down.

I hate being around people.
How can you feel so empty and alone with so many people around you, laughing and talking.
Asking questions.
I just want it all to stop.
It's like going through life in slo mo.
No, not quite, I'm in slo mo, everyone else is in high speed.
I watch as they go through everything happily, while I try to catch up, just to see what it's like to be classified as normal.

Although what is normal? I don't believe in such a thing.
Explain to me how even the most popular people get depressed.
They seem to have absolutely everything, but maybe they're just better at hiding it. Hiding all the hurt, playing it off as though every thing is fine.
I want what they have.
strength.


I tried to talk to you about it again. How I need my Meds back. They'll help me. I might actually enjoy being around people again.


Mr. Castillo, I do believe I love you. I love that I called to talk to Stuart, but since he wasn't there we talked instead. Even though you thought I was fine, I wasn't. But even without knowing it, you made me feel so much better.
So thank you.



I give up.
I don't want to talk to anyone.
I don't want Taylor to call me.
I don't want Kevin to call me.
Just don't talk to me.
The only person I'd talk to, is you, but you're with your friends.
I need you so much right now.
I wonder if you'll pick up if I call again later.